connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
