Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
