Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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