Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
