Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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