so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
