New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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