they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
