I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize