Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
