you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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