Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
