"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
