when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
