so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
