well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
