He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
