Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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