i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
