4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
