Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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