the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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