meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
