Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
