We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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