i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
