WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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