If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
