All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
