Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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