Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
