I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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