oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
