They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
