we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
