I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
