Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My vagina is very pro this idea
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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