you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
