I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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