This is not my ceiling
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
my poor anus
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize