Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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