I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
