so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
