my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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