You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
