Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
love makes seman taste better
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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