you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
