we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
