Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
