Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
