just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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