As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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