Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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