Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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