the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
