His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This house was built for laser tag.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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