i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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