Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
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