At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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