if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
