there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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