So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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