birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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